Here is a slightly more honest account of what happens when you trap a group of hardcore birdwatchers in a minibus and unleash them upon Armenia.
The Chronicles of the Camouflage Jacket: Armenia 2026
Day 1: The One Where We Don't Swim
London – Paris – Yerevan We spent the entire day flying across Europe, finally converging in Yerevan. The hotel boasted magnificent indoor and outdoor swimming pools. Did we swim? Of course not. It was bedtime, and more importantly, swimming pools do not contain birds. However, the trip was instantly validated at the airport when someone spotted a bunch of Common Swifts. We then stared at them everywhere we went for the next twelve days. Days usually started late when Godfrey was often missing, until we realised he was just wearing his camouflaged jacket.
Day 2: Watermelons Ruin Everything
Yerevan – Armash Fishponds – Chiva Weather: Windy, dry, and then damp. Standard.
We started breakfast on a lovely terrace, but nobody looked at the view because a Laughing Dove was sitting nearby.
Next, we hit the famous Armash Fishponds. The minibus doors opened, and the group suffered collective sensory overload. Birds everywhere. People were spinning in circles, binoculars colliding. White-tailed Lapwings! Black-winged Stilts! White Storks!
Then came the tragedy. It turns out that in recent years, some locals have dared to drain the fishponds to grow... watermelons. Apparently, people prefer eating fruit to providing habitat for the endangered White-headed Duck. The audacity. Disappointed but undeterred, I hunted down a local worker, used some aggressive English, and demanded to know where the actual water was.
We eventually found the right ponds and went back to aggressive spotting. Phil began his reign as the supreme ruler of finding birds hidden deep in bushes. We ended the day in Chiva, split across two B&Bs, where we aggressively cross-examined our spreadsheets and counted 85 species.
Day 3: Nature is Running Late
Gndvank Gorge and Areni Cave Weather: Sunny, but trying to blow us over.
Our guide, Jozef, informed us that nature was currently 13 days behind schedule. Spring was late. The birds apparently didn't get the memo, because they were everywhere anyway. Bob rejoined the group today, which everyone agreed was better than finding a Hobby in a Poplar tree.
We hiked a volcanic gorge to the Gndvank Monastery (built in AD 931). A major theological crisis occurred when we spotted a black-and-white bird.
The Great Wheatear Debate: "It's a Finsch’s Wheatear!" "No, look at the back!" *Aggressive camera zooming ensues * "The black on the head is legally separated from the black on the wings! It’s an Eastern Black-eared Wheatear!" Crisis averted.
Later, we visited a cave featuring the oldest leather shoe ever discovered (3100 BC) and the oldest known winery. We ignored the shoe, drank the wine, and argued about Nuthatches.
Day 4: The Day the Bear Upstaged the Bird
Chiva – Gndsar – Yeghegnadzor – Noravank
We dragged our carcasses out of bed at 05:30 AM to climb Mount Gndsar in 4x4s. The roads were nonexistent, and we drove through actual riverbeds. Shaken, rattled, and mildly traumatized, we arrived at the snowline.
Jozef stood up and announced: "Right, it will take roughly two hours of freezing our toes off to see the Caspian Snowcock." Sean immediately looked through his scope: "I’ve got them." Two minutes in. Show-off.
Then, a Brown Bear walked across the snow. Suddenly, the Caspian Snowcock—the entire reason we climbed a freezing mountain—was dead to us. Birdwatchers are fickle creatures.
We then spotted a weird, pale mammal hunting in the rocks. A massive, high-stakes debate broke out. A stoat? A polecat? A giant weasel? I had to go all the way back to the UK to look it up in a textbook to prove it was a Mustela nivalis boccamela.
The drive down the mountain was so terrifying that half the group refused to look out the window at the wild tulips because they were praying for their lives. We finished the day looking at a 14th-century monastery, but mostly we looked at Western vs. Eastern Rock Nuthatches.
Day 5: Stuck in the Mud
Chiva – Selim Pass – Lichk – Lake Sevan
We set off and immediately found a Spanish Sparrow squatting inside a White Stork's nest. Rent-free.
We climbed up to the Selim Pass (2,410 metres). Jozef, who has been doing this for twelve years, looked out the window and gasped—it was covered in snow. Predictably, a car got hopelessly bogged down in the melting snow and mud. We all stood around pretending to help push it before realizing we needed an actual rescue vehicle.
We stopped at an old watermill for lunch to thaw out. Phil found yet another Barred Warbler hiding in a bush, further cementing his status as a wizard. We ended the day at a new hotel
with a record-breaking 90 species logged. We couldn't agree on a bird of the day, so we just argued until bedtime.
Day 6: Bribed with Apricot Vodka
Lake Sevan – Dilijan National Park – Haghartsin Weather: Rain, thunder, and a chilly 14°C.
Today we hunted the sammamisicus subspecies of Redstart, because standard Redstarts are far too mainstream.
We hiked through the stunning hornbeam and beech forests of Dilijan National Park. Just as the heavens opened and thunder started rolling in, a group of incredibly friendly local Armenians appeared out of nowhere and insisted we drink homemade apricot vodka. This is how all birdwatching trips should be managed.
In the alcoholic haze, John was aiding Bob look for his passport, Suzanne had returned to the bus to change her glasses, then her coat, then her shoes and finally changed her mind on the lot. Nigel and Maris were discussing the merits of not talking to Jehovah’s Witnesses. Phil and Sean were discussing the tertials of the redstart, and Godfrey had knocked Rob unconscious with his Tripod.
Day 7: Plan B is for Birding
Bazum Range – Dilijan – Dsegh
The mountains were completely choked with snow, completely ruining our chances of seeing the Caucasian Grouse at the original site. Luckily, our local agent, Hovhaness, pulled a secret alternative site out of his sleeve.
We jumped into 4x4s, drove to Margahovit, walked a few hundred metres, and boom: displaying Caucasian Grouse. The males were doing their little dance on the ground and in the air. 10/10 performance.
Later, in Dsegh, we found 13 Griffon Vultures and an Egyptian Vulture circling over some animal carcasses on the edge of the village. It was delightfully macabre.
Day 8: The Ghost Owl
Dilijan – Gorge Jrashen – Pemzashen
We drove a 4x4 up a hill surrounded by an obnoxious number of Skylarks. We spent the afternoon at a quarry near Pemzashen looking for an Eagle Owl. We found Isabelline Wheatears, Rock Sparrows, 14 Honey Buzzards, and a random fox wandering along the cliff edge. No owl. The owl won this round.
The group was split up tonight into different guesthouses, presumably to give us a break from each other's bird lists.
Day 9: The Mysterious Reed Monster
Pemzashen – Lake Arpi
Phil solidified his legendary status today. At lunch, he got prolonged views of a Barred Warbler right by the steps of the national park office. Classic Phil.
Later, at a pond near Pemzashen, we hit a wall. There was a mysterious warbler singing in the reeds.
The Merlin App: "It's a Moustached Warbler!"
The Group: "Shut up, Merlin, you're wrong."
The Group: "Is it a Marsh Warbler? No, the vibe is wrong."
The Group: "Paddyfield Warbler? Why is its chest so pale?"
After a forensic analysis of digital photographs, it was legally declared a Paddyfield Warbler. We celebrated with an underground barbecue involving pork, chicken, and highly necessary homemade wine.
Day 10: 3 metres of Snow
Pemzashen – Talin – Arragats – Yerevan
We tried to drive up Mount Aragats, but the road was blocked by a casual three metres of snow. We couldn't reach the Radde’s Accentor breeding ground, but we did get an incredibly cooperative, white-starred Bluethroat sitting right in front of us. We unanimously voted it Bird of the Day, which is a miracle because this group never agrees on anything. We celebrated by eating trout in Yerevan.
Day 11: Bob's Redemption Arc
Yerevan – Vedi Gorge – Armash – Yerevan
We took taxis into a semi-desert gorge while it drizzled. We found a Desert Finch showing off its pink wings, and 150 Rosy Starlings.
We then rushed back to Armash so Bob could finally see the White-tailed Lapwing and Ménétries’s Warbler he had missed earlier in the trip. The pressure on Bob was immense, but he checked them off. We concluded the day with a Spoonbill and a traditional dinner accompanied by live duduk music.
Day 12: Back to Reality
Yerevan – Paris – London
We woke up at some ungodly hour to head to the airport. Even while sleep-deprived and dragging luggage, the group managed to spot 4 species of birds between the hotel door and the terminal.
Jozef abandoned us in Paris to fly to Glasgow via Schiphol, leaving the rest of us to return to London, unpack our binoculars, and finally go to sleep. Somewhere along the way we lost Godfrey ….
